If you think about it, figure skaters are gliding into jumps at top speed, throwing themselves into the air to complete an absurd amount of rotations before (hopefully) landing backwards on a quarter-inch blade. On ice. Why do we do it? Because behind all that hairspray, glitter, and dazzling smiles, we’re bat sh!t crazy. So,Continue reading “Figure Skating 101: Jumps”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Figure Skating 101: Grace
For about 10 years, I was a competitive figure skater. Before you jump to visions of graceful girls flying into intricate, back-breaking spins, this was more like it: Even as I inched my way up through the levels, grace eluded me. However, what I lacked in beauty, I made up with solid jumps and speed,Continue reading “Figure Skating 101: Grace”
The Drug Test
I’m pretty terrified of the idea of using illegal and controlled substances. Call me boring. Call me straight-edge. Call me whatever. But my brain is a frightening place as it is, so I really don’t want to see what drugs will do to that hot mess. The only time I’ve ever taken a controlled substanceContinue reading “The Drug Test”
The Cyst-er
As an only child, I used to wish for a sister – older, younger, twin, it didn’t matter. I just wanted someone who was basically forced to play with me. I mean, when I was five, we adopted a kitten, but we certainly couldn’t do each other’s hair or nails. I had a friend whoContinue reading “The Cyst-er”
Hey.
Welcome to the blog! Hey. I’m Sam. (If you already know me, feel free to skip this part. I’m catching up everyone else). I write, eat cheese, chill with my cats, and complain about the Florida heat. I used to be a manager in retail and now I’m paid to write words in the correctContinue reading “Hey.”