Tag Archives: humor columns

Sam Went To Scotland (And Became A Tourist Attraction)

During my MFA program, I studied abroad in Scotland during the summer of 2017. I had never been out of the country and was ready to learn about the Scottish culture, rich history, climb an extinct volcano to Arthur’s Seat and basically be a tourist while exploring the castles and haunted dungeons. I was fortunateContinue reading “Sam Went To Scotland (And Became A Tourist Attraction)”

The Drug Test

I’m pretty terrified of the idea of using illegal and controlled substances. Call me boring. Call me straight-edge. Call me whatever. But my brain is a frightening place as it is, so I really don’t want to see what drugs will do to that hot mess. The only time I’ve ever taken a controlled substanceContinue reading “The Drug Test”

When Interviews Aren’t Stressful Enough…

As a writer, I tend to be a little (very) introverted. I also like to (LOVE TO) overthink. So, put all of that together, it’s pretty obvious that stressful situations such as – oh, let’s say job interviews – aren’t my cup of tea (actually, I don’t know anyone who likes them. Does anyone?). WithContinue reading “When Interviews Aren’t Stressful Enough…”

You Know You’re “Old” When…

Millennials don’t like the thought of truly growing up. I mean, Neverland sounds rad, right? Freedom of an adult, responsibilities of a kid? Sign me right up. Unless someone out there has any pixie dust, we have to embrace the fact that we need to figure out how to “adult” – without losing our minds.Continue reading “You Know You’re “Old” When…”

Wisdom Teeth Don’t Deserve Their Name

It’s kind of like a right of passage – like doing taxes or sitting at the DMV for five hours on a Saturday. Once you find yourself wasting a perfectly good day off doing something less interesting than watching your nails grow, you’re basically a real adult. Congratulations. Well, after getting your wisdom teeth rippedContinue reading “Wisdom Teeth Don’t Deserve Their Name”

The Cyst-er: Emma’s Wrath

We last left my pal Rebecca cyst-er-less. Her future looked bright. She was back to being an only child – at least, she hoped. Although trembling from fear and adrenaline after the extraction, she was ready to shed her “hospital” gown and pull on her flannel shirt (which took a solid five minutes, thanks toContinue reading “The Cyst-er: Emma’s Wrath”

GRAINS

            I’m one of those lucky people who doesn’t have to worry about her weight – if I even look at a treadmill, I lose ten pounds.  My friends resented me for it and although they always saw the massive amounts of food I’d cram into my mouth, they’d tell me I was anorexic.             Continue reading “GRAINS”

Cats and Christmas

In honor of Christmas Eve, I pose this thought: How many ornaments have fallen to their deaths, thanks to our furry feline friends? Notice dogs aren’t necessarily drawn to destroy the glittery objects. Cats are up to something. And I want to figure out what it is exactly. Whether they’re kittens experiencing the holidays forContinue reading “Cats and Christmas”